Viata intr-un numar limitat de cuvinte.

Sunt unele dimineti in care viata-mi rasuna pur si simplu in urechi. Ca azi…cu ochii in salarii si grade personale, in pline pregatiri de sprint Agile dar cu urechile astupate de casti mici, albe, am auzit ca prin vis atat:

” If you are committed to someone, you will not allow yourself to find perfection in someone else.”

Trei cantece mai tarziu, m-am intors sa caut toate versurile. Si-apoi, mi-am amintit cuvinte, propozitii, fraze: „You are shinning, I like it.”, „You look amazing, what is going on?”, „You look fresh.”

Well…I look happier but I am still committed to you, despite of whoever else might seem perfect or even be so. And I know you know it too. I will be loving you not to the moon and back but to THE END.

 

Walking down 29th and Park, I saw you in another’s arms
Only a month we’ve been apart, you look happier.

Saw you walk inside a house, he said something to make you laugh
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours. Yeah, you look happier, you do.

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you but ain’t nobody love you like I do
Promise that I will not take it personal, baby, if you’re moving on with someone new.

‘Cause baby you look happier, you do, my friends told me one day I’ll feel it too
And until then I’ll smile to hide the truth, but I know I was happier with you.

Ain’t nobody hurt you like I hurt you, but ain’t nobody need you like I do
I know that there’s others that deserve you but my darling, I am still in love with you.

Baby, you look happier, you do, I knew one day you’d fall for someone new
But if he breaks your heart like lovers do just know that I’ll be waiting here for you.

 

 

That time of my year.

Nu traim o viata perfecta, stim asta si nu insistam sa ne maimutarim ca si cum lucrurile ar sta altfel pentru ca ele nu stau deloc asa cum le-am asezat cu atata grija si cu asa de multa dorinta de acceptare sociala.

Oricata bucurie si inima plina incape in 364 de zile ale anului, una din ele tot va fi cu o cadere in gol.

Am simtit-o azi cazand in gol. Ultima data am auzit expresia acum 4 ani si n-am inteles-o. Acum nu doar ca o inteleg, o si traiesc.

M-am prefacut ca-i normal, ca nu stiu ce mi se intampla si-am baut o gura de apa. Stiu exact cat e ora, cat bate ceasul, cat timp mai este si cand se va fi sfarsit.

E din nou cutremur, macar m-am obisnuit cu ele. Stiu ca dupa vijelie nimic nu va mai fi ce-a fost, in special eu. Cum de-s toate asa, nu stiu.

Caderi in gol, 100 de intrebari, „i do but i don’t” – it sure feels like i have lived this life before.

Have I?